Double trouble

It's almost that time, again! We weren't sure if we were going to be able to do it, but tickets are bought and time off of work is arranged!

I'm so excited to have a weekend of Heather and I just hanging out and being our crazy sister selves.  It seems like it has been a decade since we've done this, and in truth it has been roughly 5 years since it's happened.  That is far too much time, though you have to make-do with what you've got and we just haven't had the resources to have weekends such as this as often as we'd like.

It makes this weekend that much more special.

One of my most fond memories is when we used to line up a bazillion movies and pick from a hat to see which one we'd watch first. We only ever got through one or two but my fondness grows from the fact that it was a decision we'd come to together.

They may have been silly movies, but we'd go through our large movie collection together and decide if we wanted to maybe watch it, definitely watch it, or definitely not watch it. Next, we'd take the movies we maybe wanted to watch and either put them in the watch or don't watch pile. Finally, we'd make little slips of paper and write down the number or name of the movie, put them in my dad's cowboy hat and pick the slips of paper, making a list of what order we would watch the movies.  It seems like such a silly childhood memory, but it's so much more in depth.

Memories such as this bring so much warmth to my sometimes frozen (pun definitely intended) heart.  It's hard to explain...our family has changed so much over the last years it sometimes seems as if that is all it will ever be, a memory, but those feeling were and are still very real.  I still feel just as much love and even more as our lives have changed. I have learned to love in a different way, respect my sister in a different way, and I have learned to adapt to the situations Heather and I have had to overcome.

We haven't completely overcome them yet, but I have an inkling that we are at the end of what has been a very long, emotional, and beautiful odyssey.  It's been full of sorrow, tears, and questions, but there have also been laughs along the way.

I'm just really excited to see her. Sometimes I lose who I was, who I am, and who I want to be, but when I'm with my sister, I just seem to know. I just am who I am and she loves me without judgement and I love her the same. It's different with different people, a lot of people I associate with now didn't know me before mom and dad passed. They have no clue who I was before all of this. I don't want to live in the past, I just want it to be a part of my future in a healthy, fulfilling way.

In two weeks she will be here for four days, and these two weeks just can't go by quick enough!